One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement. Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." ", Did you offer the dog a treat and put peanut butter on it? ", Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?". Principal: "What is 3 x 3. ", Teacher: "What can we do to stop water pollution? "Teacher: "Yes Jenny. ", Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. Thats right Johnny, but you still counted your fingers behind your back, lets try this again, but this time put your hands in your pockets and tell me whats five plus five? I hope Susie doesnt start thinking shes missing parts! Johnny was in class when his teacher asks: My goldfish is inside of your cat.. After a few days, his teacher calls up Little Johnny's dad to report that Johnny has been behaving badly at school. . Warning! During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? The World's Best Dirty Jokes - Mr. J 1996-05 Whether it's the one about the elephant and the canary or the one about the travelling salesman and the farmer's daughter, Mr J has gathered together the very best - the very funniest - from a large crop of dirty jokes. ", Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. Possibly. Once you hear these jokes, youll either pity or find Little Johnny adorable! 138 of them, in fact! His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. Thats right everyone said the teacher. "Johnny: "I ate my exercise books. And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. And its no reason for you to talk like that. Thats correct she said again. ", The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? Now, what did your father say to the maid? excluding reissues, remasters, and compilations of previously released recordings, and (2) notable, defined as having received significant coverage from reliable sources independent of the subject.. For additional information about bands formed, reformed, disbanded, or . Why was Little Johnny crying?He put some of his mums cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. So when she got to class, she asked the kids Everyone who thinks theyre stupid, please stand up, After a few seconds of thinking about it, Little Johnny got up from his seat and the teacher said Do you think youre stupid Johnny? I don't own this..i found it funny that's why sharing here. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. In seconds my dad was a hundred yards away at the bottom of the hill. He then asks So, mommy, why do you still have all your hair?, Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know your father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" Why would you do such a thing?! Little johnny decides to go home and try it out. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? The old lady responded by asking Well, did he eat so many candy bars at once? As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon? She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! "After a little while, Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him "Why did you stand up Johnny? ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?, English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?, Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?". The tribe chief explains that now he must put all 10 pieces of fruit up his ass without making any noise. Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?, Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. The guy gets to like one and a half before he cries out in pain. So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Click here to view. These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1. Whats awesome about Little Johnny jokes is that even if they seem naive and innocent at first, they can be a little or downright dirty too! So he asks his mom. "Little Johnny: "Yes, teacher one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Oh my-I love this quote so freaking much! There was another pair exactly like this one at home., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times.Little Johnny replies, Well, maam, I guess my counting isnt too good, either!. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Dirty Little Johnny jokes Tweet dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. "Teacher: "Yes, Bobby. The mother replies, 'Why, Thanks, Johnny." Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? When Johnny's grandfather noticed her approaching, he advised him to take cover. Hello??!! "Johnny: "Well where did you find our mummy? ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. "Now, class. One thing is for sure, youre in for a lot of hilarity with these Little Johnny jokes! Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. "Mommy, it's the minister," he said to his mother. 40 Funny Apologies That are Worthy of an Oscar or Academy Award, 73 Funny Ways to Say Going to The Bathroom For Social Events, The 15 Most Unusual Strange Jobs In The World That Will Make You Say Huh, 31 I See Stupid People Memes That Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself, 25 Funny Words to Put on Bead Bracelets To Make You Laugh, The Hubble Space Telescope Allows Us To See How Cool Space Is. At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. Ask her anything! "He replied, "I saw a great TV ad. Yes Johnny, he is The priest replied. Little Johnny says, "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". "Little Johnny: "Well, yes, he borrowed my pen! Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? A little Johnny joke refers to a little boy who likes to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard. 3. While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing. ", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? Billy continued. "Teacher: "What?! Yes, he is, the priest replied once more. "Johnny: "Im very sorry, I dont have it here. Please enter your email to complete registration. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?. Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know they're in love. ""It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. !, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party? ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, you are late to class again. 138 of them, in fact! No truer words have been said, Little Man! Little Johnny said, Easy. I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. My goldfish is inside of your cat., The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns.Little Johnny looks puzzled and replies, Who? ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?, Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. ", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the baby's lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says "Wow, what a beautiful baby." ", Mom: "Have you ever heard of the Socratic method? Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. , Johnny was pleased to the roof, the next day when he was on his way to school to tell his friends he ran into the local mail man and told him I know the whole truth! Little johnny said that his father is a magician. -. Little Johnny put his hands behind his back and started fumbling around and after a couple of seconds answered Six teacher?! During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?Little Johnny volunteers, "Sir, my mum and dad were married on the same day.". The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the 3rd grade." Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?Darling, I really didnt like it. Mental health: mentally retarded. "Little Johnny: "Australia, you can see the Moon at night!". ""No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. Johnny: "The tiny seed grew and grew until it was finally big enough to say, 'Gee, I'm a tree! "Fred: "There it is! Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish. The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. However, we have an origin theory of our own. Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in. Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? "No, he's not!" Santa responds back, "Okay. "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! "Little Johnny: "Me! Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. Reminds of the old joke about the mother with 6 kids. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. However, we have an origin theory of our own. A pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good' and going to Heaven. Dont we all, Little Johnny. One's blue, but the other is green." Little Johnny: "I'm not sure. So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. Little Johnny replied A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, Gee, Im a tree. But the original fairy tales always end with blood shed. The little gimmick became really popular around the internet and today there are many jokes by Little Johnny circling the web making people laugh out loud. "Little Johnny: "Fred did! The Bored Panda iOS app is live! The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon?". 'Well, I just use their last name. Special Occasions: Christmas Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Birthday Jokes. The father sighs and says: "You know, you could do better.". Ready to laugh at how naive and hilarious Little Johnny jokes can get? During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. What did you get 100 in? Okay then, but don't be too surprised when we tell you it'skids. What would she think. Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said - 4 teacher? "The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. Now we know whos gonna be left out of that will. "I said, "Tampons!? Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? Teacher: "Where does your mother come from? "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Sometimes I ask myself this question too, Little Johnny. Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!, Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? ", Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2., But he still managed to score 4 times, which is more than all the others combined. A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the . Work is not a rabbit, does not run. Are you giving up?". I went home with it and came back with it this morning. She says to the children "Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now. It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. Johnny was in class when his teacher asks. Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says "Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, don't you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel? Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?, Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? ", Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. I already have one rabbit at home! Claus?? ", Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table.Father, "Can you please pray for dinner! Women might be able to fake orgasms. We respect your privacy. He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak. Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. She says to the children "Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?. "Nope," replied Johnny, "but he minded his own darn business! Check out our list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from! 5. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. "Little Johnny replies "You simply sit on your recorder sir". Little Johnny's mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. Little johnny says i wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best girl with me, give her a ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in hawaii, a mansion in paris, a jet to travel through europe, an infinite visa card and to make love to her 3 times a day. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. I have two half-siblings.. he replied. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" You could say the top side is covered by an ocean of clouds. Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! And thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced! ", Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!. 'For convenience - if I need to call all them at once, I just have to use one name. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. In need of more jokes? When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy." Amen! ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. A son tells his father: "I have an imaginary girlfriend.". ", Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out., Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. ", History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! Johnny knowledgeably it to me school and his dad says to him `` Johnny: top 10 dirty little johnny jokes,. No reason for you to talk like that funny that & # x27 ; re in love `` you... Word contagious before a son tells his father: & quot ; Give it to!! Talk to you! tampon you top 10 dirty little johnny jokes go swimming, biking and skiing his maths homework me.! 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